Denial
by lella7
Summary: After the Dark Lord falls, Bellatrix is forced to deny her loyalty to her master in order to appear innocent. Written for Round 4 of the Diversity Competition on the HPFC forum.


Denial

Bellatrix wrung her hands as she paced aimlessly. She raised her wand to destroy something, anything, in the silent room, so that it matched her mood, but every item in their house had been smashed to smithereens and repaired so many times over the past week, that she no longer had the motivation. Instead she collapsed into a chair and clasped her arm, which so recently had borne the Dark Mark, but was now nothing more than blank, pale skin.

"We will find him, Bella," called her husband's voice from the doorway.

Bellatrix looked up as Rodolphus approached. "We should be doing something _now_. All of this sitting around waiting feels like disloyalty," she muttered bitterly.

Rodolphus wrapped his arms gently around her waist and pulled her towards him to kiss her forehead. Bellatrix was too exhausted by her frayed nerves to protest, so allowed her husband his attempt to comfort her.

"We do not know where to begin, my dear. There is little point in acting until we have something to go on. If the Dark Lord is alive-"

"_There is no if!_" Bellatrix screeched, shoving him backwards with such force that he hit the wall with a thud.

"I didn't mean... Bella, that's not what I meant. I was trying to say that there will be some sign as to where he is or what has happened to him very soon, and then we'll know what to do."

"It has been a week and there has been nothing. We should-" A loud knock on the door cut her off and with a frown, Bellatrix grasped her wand and made her way out to the hall.

She flung open the large, oak doors to find two official-looking middle aged wizards who started backwards at her sudden appearance.

"Who are you?" she demanded, glaring down at them arrogantly.

The man on the left, who was short and balding, raised his head in an attempt to match Bellatrix's imposing height and cleared his throat self-importantly.

"Madam Lestrange, Mister Lestrange," he began, "I am here by order of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement to request your presence at the Ministry of Magic. We have some questions to ask you regarding the enquiry into the whereabouts of the followers of You-Know-Who."

Bellatrix considered cursing them but was stopped at the touch of Rodolphus' hand on her shoulder.

"Are we under arrest?" her husband asked coldly.

"No you are not; we simply want to ask a few questions."

Bellatrix couldn't help secretly hoping that if the Ministry ever did arrest her, they would put a lot more effort into it than this.

"Of course," Rodolphus replied calmly. "We have nothing to hide."

ooo

"Where were you on the evening of the twenty-first of October, nineteen-seventy-nine?"

A slightly different short, balding man was sitting in front of Bellatrix and she was already mentally planning a hundred ways to curse him into oblivion. Not only had he spent the last fifteen minutes telling her in an incredibly patronizing manner that she shouldn't worry and need only answer his questions honestly, but now he had opened with one of the stupidest questions she had ever heard.

"I have no idea, that was over two years ago," Bellatrix replied. She didn't think she had quite managed to not sound sarky.

"Let me jog your memory," the man said, in the tone of a patient teacher explaining something to a twelve year old. "That was the evening on which Dominic and Flora Macmillan were tragically killed."

The Macmillans? Bellatrix was shocked. After everything that she _had_ done, she was being accused of something she actually had nothing to do with. What had she been doing that evening? How was she supposed to remember... oh, of course... she had been with the Dark Lord. Her stomach twisted uncomfortably.

"I'm afraid I really don't remember."

"Well, Madam Lestrange, you were seen that morning speaking to Richmond Mulciber in Diagon Alley. I'm not sure if you are aware, but Mr Mulciber has been convicted of the murder of the Macmillan family. Do you remember what you discussed with Mr Mulciber that day?"

Seriously, _that_ was the evidence they had against her?

"Richmond is an old family friend and I speak to him regularly. I have no idea what we discussed on a particular day two years ago." Bellatrix realised she would probably be expected to sound concerned about being friends with a murderer, so she added, "I was shocked when I heard of his arrest. I never even suspected that he was involved in the Death Eaters."

The man gave a sympathetic smile, which Bellatrix had a strong desire to curse off.

"It is terrifying to think that such people have been living amongst us all these years," he said slowly. "But don't worry, Madam Lestrange, we here at the Ministry are doing everything we can to make sure that all of them are rounded up and put into prison where they belong."

Bellatrix was not sure whether to be relieved or offended by the fact that this man clearly thought she was some sappy housewife who had nothing to do with the Dark Lord.

She forced a pleasant smile onto her face but didn't trust herself to reply. If she did not need to appear innocent in order to be able to search for the Dark Lord, this man would be dying a horribly slow, painful death at this very moment.

"Do you recall where you were on the evening of the sixteenth of July of this year?"

Oh, she knew this one. That was the night the McKinnons were killed. She hadn't been involved in that either, and to make matters worse, she actually had a pretty good alibi for that night, just not one she would enjoy giving.

"That was my wedding anniversary. Rodolphus and I were in Paris." She tried to hide her mortification as she reluctantly admitted to herself that it was actually a good thing that she had such a solid alibi. And she was sure that if Rodolphus was questioned on it, he too would present that disastrous trip, which she should never have agreed to, as some blissful, romantic getaway.

"Ah, that sounds lovely," the idiotic man sighed, making a note of her response. "Lastly, we have been informed that you have expressed views, upon several occasions, that appear similar to those of the so-called Death Eaters and-"

"I didn't agree with them," Bellatrix said quickly, trying hard to think of exactly what this man wanted to hear. "I might believe that blood status should be given higher importance in our society, but that doesn't mean I agreed with the Death Eaters."

"So you never considered joining You-Know-Who?"

_Say it, Bella, you have to say it or you won't be able to go looking for him._"Of course not. I would never join someone who thought murder was the right way to bring about change."

"Thank you, Madam Lestrange. That will be all. You are free to go."

Bellatrix barely heard him. The words she had spoken were bitter in her mouth and guilt washed over her at the knowledge that, for whatever reason, she had just denied her loyalty to her master.

In a daze she left the interview room, praying that she would never be forced to say such things again.

ooo

Rodolphus stood waiting for her in the Atrium.

"Was everything alright?" he asked as she approached.

"Yes, they didn't have anything on me."

"Me neither."

They made their way through the visitors exit and apparated back home.

"I don't think they really suspected us at all," Bellatrix mused. "After all I've heard about the Ministry sending people to Azkaban without trial and Aurors being allowed to kill whoever they suspect, I thought they'd be a little more heavy-handed. It was as if they were just trying to rule us out."

Rodolphus suddenly stepped in front of her and placed a hand on her shoulder.

"Bella, what's wrong? You sound... lifeless."

He looked far more concerned than he ever had when she had been angry or upset. Bellatrix suddenly became very aware of the numbness that had overcome her since the moment she had left the interview room.

"We're acting like traitors." Her usually strong voice quivered a little at this realisation. "We've been staying at home acting like we've nothing to hide and now we have both denied our loyalty to the Dark Lord." She gave a sudden bark of humourless laughter. "And we got away with it."

"Well we had to do all of that or we wouldn't be much use to-." Bellatrix cut him off.

"I'm going to start looking for him right now."

There was silence as Rodolphus struggled over how he should respond.

"We don't know where to start. We should wait until we know what we're doing," he argued, but his voice did not match his wife's determination. It was said with the whiny tone he used when he knew Bellatrix would get her way. She always did.

"I don't care. You can either help me, or stay here and continue acting like a pathetic coward."

"Do you even have a plan?" Rodolphus asked nervously.

Bellatrix didn't, but nodded anyway and began thinking quickly. "We need information. It seems as if the Dark Lord walked into some kind of trap that night. That's the only explanation. We need to find someone who might have been involved in this trap and make them tell us what happened."

"So we need to capture someone from the Auror Office?" Rodolphus replied, and Bellatrix was pleased to see that he had caved so quickly into helping her. "Or the Order?"

"Or both." Bellatrix's lips twisted into a sadistic smile.

ooo

The second time the Ministry came to their manor, they did not knock on the door.

The Caterwauling Charms set up around the entrances went off, high pitched shrieks piercing through the silent night, as floods of Aurors broke in, but it all happened so fast that Bellatrix only just had time to get out of bed and grab her wand before she was disarmed.

She would not have been able to fight them anyway; there must have been twenty or thirty of them, yet she still mentally cursed herself for ending up in such a defenceless position.

"What are you doing? _How dare you!_" she shrieked as two Aurors seized her and she could hear similar protests from Rodolphus as well as the muffled sounds of Rabastan and Barty being dragged from the guest bedrooms.

"Bellatrix Lestrange," one of the Aurors said with contempt, "you are under arrest for suspected use of the Cruciatus Curse on Frank and Alice Longbottom."

"I have no idea what you are talking about, let go of me right now!"

She struggled against their grip, but then noticed the Auror who had disarmed her was pointing his own wand at hers. He muttered the _prior incantato_ spell and then leapt back from her wand in shock, dropping it to the floor. It had begun to emit terrible cries, recreating the anguish of the Longbottoms' final moments.

Against the music of their screams, which proved her guilt, there was nothing more she could do.

At least this time she would not have to deny her true loyalties.

So Bellatrix just smiled.


End file.
